I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
