Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
