we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
