i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
