so that wasnt chicken after all
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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