i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think my moral compass just broke
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