The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
