he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
