you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
