I bet he comes in French.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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