and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
