Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That accounts for only three of the penises
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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