i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
