wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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