dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
