apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
