I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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