plz talk dirty to me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
