And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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