I puked a lego.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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