You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
