Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
whose parrot is this?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
