You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
