4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
