google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
