Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
