So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
