ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
