Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
