All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
