I wanna bring you to show and tell
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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