hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
