I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
