I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
