Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
