Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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