arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need a beard to bite.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
