The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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