All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
