OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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