i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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