Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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