so that wasnt chicken after all
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
