I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
