I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
