So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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