Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
