I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
