Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
