it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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